The Resource Center for Parents and Children

Below are answers to some common questions. Do you have a question for us?

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Q: My 15 year old son is disrespectful and does not obey his curfew. What can I do?

A: It’s a parent’s responsibility to know the who, what, where, when and why when it comes to their teens. By simply asking teens these questions parents can avoid a lot of conflict. Teens may think a parent is being nosey by asking these questions, but by simply stating that it is your job as a parent to keep them healthy and safe they might not like it but will understand a little better. Without an answer to any of the “W” questions your teen does not have permission to leave the house. Sometimes parents need to “follow

up” to find out details and to get more information. Parents should insist on meeting their teen’s friends and contact other parents to verify outings, gatherings and other activities

teens will engage in. The more parents know the safer teens are.

Q: My 4 year old daughter was caught touching another child at day care. I am

mortified and don’t know what to do.

A: Four year olds are naturally curious about the world around them and they are

fascinated by the human body. They are interested in and frequently ask questions

about bodily functions, where babies come from, being nude, showing other children their

genitals and may use dirty words for bathroom and sexual functions. Talk to your child

about the meaning of privacy and enforce this basic rule in your house. Also, talk to your

child about their rights and the rights of others in relation to appropriate contact. It is also

questions your child may have about his or her body, provide information to the question

asked in a matter of fact manner. Children should never be made to feel ashamed or

embarrassed about the questions they ask or exploration they do. Again, by being

matter of fact and reinforcing appropriate physical contact children will begin to

understand their body.

Q: My 2 year old son is very aggressive with other children. He is constantly pushing

other kids and taking toys away. I don’t want to spank him but I’m beginning to think

that’s the only way to get him to stop this behavior.

A: Two year olds are in a very exploratory stage of development. They love to explore the

world around them. They are fascinated with everything and will do things over and over

again. They are often a bit clumsy in managing their bodies and often trip and fall knocking

into other children or things around them. They are just starting to really talk and express

what they need or want. They also have a bit of “tunnel vision” when it comes to toys or

things they are fascinated with. If another child has a toy they want they tend to just rip

the toy right out of their hands. Parents can help their two year old to use their words

even if it is just a few to ask for things they want. They can also encourage patients by

redirecting their attention and substitute with another toy when appropriate. Parents can

also reinforce “nice” and “gentle” behavior by touching their toddler’s cheek or petting a

pet. If a toddler’s aggressive behavior is beyond just exploration and accidental and is

clearly to hurt another child, then parents need to enforce and clearly state that aggressive

behavior will not be tolerated. Parents can do this by getting down to the toddler’s eye

level and changing their tone of voice and say, “No, hitting hurts and is not okay.” Eye

contact and tone of voice is essential for a toddler to fully understand this message.

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